Living life with steps of faith

Last Sunday I preached on Making Changes. The item that most caught my attention was the idea of taking one day at a time and asking God for that one item to do today.  Living into this new idea of a future that is unknown and could possibly be childless is much simpler when it is taken one day at a time, one action step at a moment.  What habits have I started as a result of my infertility that need to be changed?  How do I trust God with today and not even worry about tomorrow?  The result has been quite refreshing!  Instead of trying to figure out how to live as a childless adult (even though that is what I have been my entire adult life!), I ask how am I to live today? That simple question opens up a world of possibilities and over the last week it has revealed what an incredible gift it is to be a pastor and to have the privilege of being able to listen to the stories of the "least of these."  The more simple people who live life from the perspective ...

In the Bible we are instructed to give thanks in all circumstances. There is a point of obedience to that instruction, but there is also a point of authenticity in obedience to that instruction.  I can give thanks for this time of infertility, but I can also be grateful for it. Last night, for the first time I gave thanks and meant it. The gift of childlessness has opened up a wide variety of possibilities for me and my husband regarding our future life together.  Just as marriage for some can interfere with their fulfilling many purposes in life, whereas for others marriage opens up the opportunities for ministry.  So to both having children and not having children create two different routes for ministry and life. As a couple we can use this period of our lives to pay down our debts, build a solid foundation for our marriage, and prepare for the adventure that awaits us in the next stage of life.  And I have to admit that this sounds quite exciting! Rather...

The fourth healthy life choice is to come clean.  The idea is to think about the people you resent, fear, or have trouble with and then to reflect upon the cause, effect, damage, and your role in all of that.  This process can be quite healing as it allows us to purify our hearts which brings joy and freedom. I think though that this healing choice is pretty automatic in the journey through infertility.  Infertility for many makes you super aware of your humanity and the weaknesses of that humanity.  If you take any hormonal drugs, you become acutely aware of this, as does your spouse, close family, and co-workers. And because of the grief cycle, in your sadness and anger you have to face head-on these menaces of your past.  And yet on the journey through this you hurt more people and are hurt in new ways.  You begin to resent the super-fertile who are unable to take care of their legacy on this planet.  Yet, you still have to face that resentmen...

"I'm convinced: You can do anything and everything. Nothing and no one can upset your plans...   I admit it. I was the one. I babbled on about things far beyond me, made small talk about wonders way over my head...   I admit I once lived by rumors of you; now I have it all firsthand--from my own eyes and ears! I'm sorry--forgive me. I'll never do that again, I promise! I'll never again live on crusts of hearsay, crumbs of rumor." - Job in response to God (The Message, excerpt from Job 42:1-6)   "He will ask me not to treat you as you deserve for talking nonsense about me, and for not being honest with me, as he has." - God addressing Job's "consoling" friends (The Message, excerpt from Job 42:7-8) How does a minister talk of God and address people's questions when God is a mystery? I think the answer somewhat lie in Job's earlier response, even though he apologizes for speaking too much.  In Job...

Before I start, I must admit that I want to skip this Fertile Journey Through Genesis.  I feel like I have moved on from the place where I was when I first read through Genesis and found it so theologically transformative in my own personal journey.  Going back through it hasn't had the same affect and thus I am lacking motivation.  Yet when I pick up my Hebrew Bible to begin reading Exodus I feel frozen by a sense that I am to return once again to Genesis. Thus I continue... It is always the one thing that you can't have that you desire.   God created this beautiful garden and told the woman and man they could have anything they wanted to eat in it, except the fruit on this one plant.  I think that is how the journey through infertility feels like for so many people.  It is just the one thing keeping them from their perfect life. And then comes the temptations and the woman's drive to attain a pregnancy.  Her husband goes along with her because ...