Showing posts from January, 2015

The mission statement on the mantel (Fertility of the matriarchs)

Imagine your family has its own mission statement.  It has been written up in an elegant type placed in a frame that was hand chiseled by your great-grandfather and it hangs over your fireplace mantel.  When you look at the statement it gives you the warm fuzzies because you know it is true.  Your great-grandfather (actually several "greats" ago) claimed that it was a mission statement given to him by God and your family tells stories of its fulfillment in each generation.

You are a small and very close-knit family.  When you gather for a holy day of remembrance there are only a few in each generation.  Yet you laugh together, enjoy a meal, and take time to worship your God.  Actually taking the time to worship God is the reason that you gather, but it doesn't appear the same as it does for other families.  First each generation gets their chance to tell their own story of God's faithfulness and their incredible encounters with Him.  Then your great-aunt Judith beg…

Choosing a Nursing Home for your Parents or Grandparents

My parents asked about choosing a nursing home for my grandparents - and this is what I wrote in an email in response:

Hi Dad,
Mom mentioned that grandpa fell last night and that you are interested in learning more about nursing homes.  I think the most important thing is to include grandpa & grandma in the process of choosing a place and to make that decision when they are still able to make it for themselves. I'm sure they have heard stories from friends that will influence where they want to be or where they don't want to be.  Just schedule visits to two or three places with them. 

Each place handles costs, insurance, and finances differently - so you just have to go and visit and schedule a meeting with their entry people. I would make sure a sibling who is over the age of 65 and personally acquainted with medicare attend this meeting, alongside whichever sibling is going to be the key contact person if grandma and grandpa decide to move into to a senior re…

Silence or Openness - Does one share about their struggle with infertility?

Today I was corresponding with a fellow cyster on this journey about how sometimes I wonder if I were able to go back would I choose to be less open about our struggle.  She and many, many others have chosen not to tell their family, friends, or co-workers about their diagnosis or their attempts to become pregnant or adopt. In many ways I felt like it was part of my calling to be open, to embody the struggle for women everywhere, and to be a teacher or coach for the fertile.  When I "came out of the closet" Christmas 2013, I didn't realize how hard it would really be.  I wanted people who were struggling at Christmas with grief to know that they were not alone and that I as a pastor understood.  I did not expect all of the unsolicited advice and direction which has made the journey much more painful.  Had I not chosen to be open, people would have continued to treat me the same (or at least somewhat), but I would have had the burden of silence.  Or at least would have h…