Sadness of a good-night hug.

As evidenced by my recent blog posts, I've been pretty happy of late.  But this evening as I put my elementary age house guest to bed and said my final "good-night" I felt an incredible and unexpected let down.  I went to iron my clothes for Sunday worship and wondered why I all of a sudden felt a sadness and lack of motivation that had been missing over the past week and a half.  And then I realized why.

For the last week and a half I have been looking forward to this guest's stay.  I've been looking forward to "playing" mom.  I've been looking forward to having a routine with meals at set times and being able to use my creative juices to be a good hostess for this child.  As I tucked her in unconsciously my soul recognized that this fictitious role would end tomorrow

I could be content in my heart yesterday and today, but this isn't my reality.  The American Girl accessories are all put away.  The children's books will soon be back on the shelf.  The macaroni and cheese and chicken nuggets will be set aside until another visit from the children of friends.  There will no longer be the sound of a child at play in our backyard or helping hands setting the dinner table.  No child's hands drawing a prayer to God or slippered feet purposely making sounds as they slide across the wood floor.

I was made to be a mom. 


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