A Blue Christmas: Christmas Gathering for the Grieving
This morning we are offering a Blue Christmas Gathering at our church. I had heard about such gatherings and even read about them, but have never sponsored such an event myself. This year though is my first Christmas as a pastor, and I would say over 30% of the families in our congregation our grieving the loss of a loved one. I thought that we should offer a Blue Christmas (a.k.a. "The Longest Night.") I was quite surprised though how difficult it was to find a service flow to follow for such an event. So looking at what I've heard people say about such a gathering and piecing together little tidbits I found across the Internet, I put together the following service. Please feel free to use and edit as you have need.
Blue
Christmas Gathering
Opening
We
come together today because we are people who share something in common, the
loss of a loved one. Not everyone
around you gets what it is like for you to celebrate Christmas and at the same
time mourn. Not everyone wants to hear your stories or listen to you share how
Christmas use to be. But we come
today to a place where it is safe to say, this Christmas is different, and even
to say that it is hard. But
nonetheless there is still a place where we can find reason to celebrate, and
that is here in the church. A
place where we look at the manger and we see a cross. We look at an infant and
see a Savior. We look at birth,
life, and death, and see resurrection.
Scripture
At
Christmas we often miss the suffering in the story. The suffering of Mary in giving birth. The suffering of she and Joseph’s pride
in having a child out of wedlock.
And the suffering of all the families whose children were put to death.
Read: Matthew 2:16-18
Song
The first Christmas did not come
without grief.
Song: “Yahweh” by U2
Meditation
Read “A Mustard Seed Christmas”
Time of
Sharing: Note cards
The note cards that are being
passed around now are for writing the words that you want people to hear. Words that honor your loved one. Words that recognize how this Christmas
will be different. Words that express your feelings, ask a question, or even
say a prayer. Perhaps these are even
words that are written that may be hard to say at Christmas time and even
harder for other people to hear.
Perhaps these are words that there just doesn’t seem an appropriate
place to say, but you need to say.
I will give you a few minutes to write.
[10 minutes]
Time of
Sharing: With Each Other
Let’s take a few minutes to share
with those around us why we are here.
Who do you remember today?
What are you going to miss about them this Christmas? How are you celebrating Christmas
differently this year?
While you are doing this, I will
be walking around and collecting any cards that you would like for me to read
out loud to the group.
Time of
Sharing: Unheard Words (written on cards)
Read the cards out loud to the
group.
Scripture
Just two chapters after the story
of the deaths of the innocent infants, we read of the beginning of Jesus
ministry.
Read: Matthew 4:12-17
Jesus came to bring us light and
to bring us life. Jesus is our
hope. “The people living in
darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of
death a light has dawned.”
Song
Watch video: Mary’s Boy Child” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkq4AlQyIkA
Point out lyrics: “Man will love
for evermore because of Christmas day.
Meditation
Continued
Pass out Mustard Seeds.
Our mustard seed is our faith and
hope of one day being reunited with our loved ones in heaven.
Scripture
Read: 1 Corinthians 13
Light the candles.
Communion
In the Christ child, we see the
future death of a son. God knew by
sending his son to us he was also temporarily giving up his son to the world
and to death. But, he also knew that
was not the end, for through His son, all people would be given eternal life!
Prayer, Silence,
& Dismissal
Listen to Christmas music
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