Different Communication Styles

Tonight my mother and I figured out one reason I have avoided having significant conversations with her most recently. As she already knows, I get quite bothered when after my finishing a story she responds with "You know what you should do...." or "You know what you could do..." Prior to tonight, I have blamed my discomfort with these statements on my having had a lot of people make such statements to me in the ministry in which I lead and then give me a laundry list of to-do's for which the person giving the list was far more qualified and networked to act upon. But tonight, I made the realization that the reason it really bugs me, is that I expect her to respond in the feminine manner of recognizing the feelings shared in the story with comments such as "oh, I know how that feels" or "that really has to stink" rather than in the stereotyped masculine manner of solving the problem with "well, you could..." And this I think is the place where our relationship changed when I became an adult. As a child she would comfort me in my sorrow or pain and celebrate with me my joys, but since I became an adult, she responds to my sharing of my personal story with an action plan of her wisdom, when what I am really desiring is the motherly response of love that I had received before. Hmmmm.... A lot to think about.


Popular posts from this blog

Palm Sunday School Lesson for Teenagers

High School Sunday School Lesson on Dating, Marriage, and Sex

Youth Bible Study for opening of Evan Almighty: Genesis 6-8 - Noah and the Flood