Living life with steps of faith

A young man is put to death for blaspheming God's name during a fight.  It wasn't the fight that killed him, but his misuse of God's name.  We read about this incident in Leviticus 24 and it serves as the antidote for the famous, "eye for eye, tooth for tooth" legislation. I read the story and I am humbled by the fullness of God's holiness.  I live by grace and sometimes I allow that grace to interfere with my checking myself for sin. How many times have I injured another person and felt justified and even proud?  Have I ever been disrespectful with God's name? Would I have survived during the time period in which the Law was being discovered? I am a good girl, but not that good. None of us really are. Yesterday I had to have a disciplinary conversation with a young girl on my soccer team about something she did that unintentionally caused harm.  She didn't mean it for evil, she just really didn't know any better.  She could have felt justi...

Last Sunday I preached on Making Changes. The item that most caught my attention was the idea of taking one day at a time and asking God for that one item to do today.  Living into this new idea of a future that is unknown and could possibly be childless is much simpler when it is taken one day at a time, one action step at a moment.  What habits have I started as a result of my infertility that need to be changed?  How do I trust God with today and not even worry about tomorrow?  The result has been quite refreshing!  Instead of trying to figure out how to live as a childless adult (even though that is what I have been my entire adult life!), I ask how am I to live today? That simple question opens up a world of possibilities and over the last week it has revealed what an incredible gift it is to be a pastor and to have the privilege of being able to listen to the stories of the "least of these."  The more simple people who live life from the perspective ...

The fourth healthy life choice is to come clean.  The idea is to think about the people you resent, fear, or have trouble with and then to reflect upon the cause, effect, damage, and your role in all of that.  This process can be quite healing as it allows us to purify our hearts which brings joy and freedom. I think though that this healing choice is pretty automatic in the journey through infertility.  Infertility for many makes you super aware of your humanity and the weaknesses of that humanity.  If you take any hormonal drugs, you become acutely aware of this, as does your spouse, close family, and co-workers. And because of the grief cycle, in your sadness and anger you have to face head-on these menaces of your past.  And yet on the journey through this you hurt more people and are hurt in new ways.  You begin to resent the super-fertile who are unable to take care of their legacy on this planet.  Yet, you still have to face that resentmen...

I have to admit that this is the step thus far that is probably the hardest for me to get excited about because it is the one I am most familiar with. "Letting Go" has been a theme in my life, partly because it can be so difficult for me, but mostly because it has created the most transformative moments in my faith journey thus far.  I think it is essential for us as Christians to learn how to really let go and give everything to God through Jesus! I think I've preached this sermon more than a handful of times.  Thus, oddly I'm a bit bored with the idea. Isn't that sad?  So the question becomes how do I relay this message with just as much passion as I did at first? Perhaps, by letting go? This blog post though isn't about sermon writing, but instead it is about the journey through Celebrate Recovery's Healing Choices Infertility Style. Thus, I will respond to the questions as I have with previous chapters/choices. So I have to begin with a confessi...

John Baker's book "Life's Healing Choices" offers eight choices we can make to heal from life's hurts, hang-ups, and habits.  Since I am preaching on this for the next several weeks, I thought I'd apply it to this blog and the journey through infertility. “What people, places, or things do you have the power to control?” Part of the reality of infertility is discovering how little control over life one does have.  At first you think you can control the medical decisions that will help you to conceive.  But reality is that even if you go through all of the "right" processes - conception, implantation, delivery & live birth may never happen.  On this journey you also discover that you don't have as much control over your emotions as you once thought.  What you do have control over is your attitude and how you will respond to the negativity you face.  Another hard thing to discover is that your future isn't as much in your hands as ...